When Age and Health Mean It’s Time to Tell a Loved One to Stop Driving

It felt like just yesterday. I stopped by my mom’s house and noticed her car sitting slightly crooked in the driveway. A long yellow streak ran halfway down the side of the car. I knew immediately what had happened—she had clipped one of those yellow poles in a parking lot. The small dents scattered across the car confirmed what I had been dreading: her driving skills were slipping. It was time.

You may already know the moment is coming as well. Maybe your mom avoids driving at night. Maybe your dad’s car has new dents he can’t explain. Or perhaps you’ve noticed yourself squinting at headlights or hesitating at busy intersections.

When a loved one loses the ability to drive, it isn’t just about transportation — it feels like they are giving up their independence, control, and a part of who they are. That’s why deciding when to stop driving is one of the hardest choices in later life. But addressing it early can keep you, your loved ones, and others on the road safe.

• Learn More: Taking Away Elder Parent’s Keys

Vision Changes Signal Safety Concerns

Vision problems are among the first signs that driving may no longer be safe. As you age, common eye conditions can dramatically affect your ability to see the road, traffic signals, and other drivers.

• Cataracts create glare and halos around lights.
• Glaucoma narrows peripheral vision, making it harder to spot cars or pedestrians.
• Macular degeneration blurs central vision, limiting your ability to read signs or see traffic signals.

If you find yourself avoiding night driving or straining to see traffic lights, it’s time to take action. The American Academy of Ophthalmology recommends eye exams every one to two years after age 65. If corrective measures don’t restore safe vision, exploring alternatives becomes essential.

Cognitive Decline Affects Driving Judgment

Driving requires attention, quick decisions, and memory. When cognitive decline sets in, those skills often slip in subtle ways. Memory lapses, disorientation, or getting lost in familiar neighborhoods can signal a serious safety issue.

The Alzheimer’s Association notes that dementia often impacts judgment and reaction time before a formal diagnosis.

Dr. David Carr, a professor of geriatric medicine at Washington University School of Medicine, has studied older drivers extensively. Often the family will know first.

Even mild cognitive changes can compromise driving safety. Families often see the changes before the driver does. — Dr. David Carr, a professor of geriatric medicine at Washington University School of Medicine.

Keeping a log of near-misses, confusion, or complaints from passengers helps families approach these conversations with evidence, not just opinion.

Physical Limitations Reduce Vehicle Control

Physical strength and flexibility are just as important as mental sharpness when it comes to safe driving. As joints stiffen and muscles weaken, basic maneuvers can become difficult or even dangerous.

Arthritis, stiff joints, and weaker muscles can make it harder to check blind spots, turn the wheel quickly, or manage pedals. Medications for chronic conditions often add side effects such as drowsiness or dizziness.

Adaptive devices — like wider mirrors or hand controls — can help temporarily. But as limitations progress, safe alternatives become more reliable than modifications.

Increased Accidents and Close Calls

Even careful drivers may eventually notice that minor accidents or “close calls” happen more frequently. These incidents are often the first real-world proof that driving ability is slipping.

Minor fender benders, unexplained dents, or traffic violations are not just bad luck. They’re often warning signs. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), crash risk increases significantly after age 70, particularly at intersections.

If police warnings, tickets, or insurance claims pile up, it’s time to treat these as urgent red flags.

Medical Conditions Create Additional Risks

Certain medical conditions pose sudden, serious risks while driving. Some can cause unexpected loss of focus, awareness, or even consciousness behind the wheel.

• Diabetes can cause sudden disorientation from blood sugar swings.
• Heart disease may trigger chest pain or fainting spells.
• Seizures present ongoing risks, even with medication.
• Sleep apnea leads to severe daytime fatigue, reducing reaction times.

The CDC warns that untreated sleep apnea is a major contributor to drowsy driving. If your doctor advises limiting or stopping driving, take the recommendation seriously.

Family Concerns and Social Pressure

Your loved one probably thinks they are still ok to keep driving, but family and friends often notice changes before they do. Friends refusing rides or loved ones expressing fear in the passenger seat are strong signals that safety is at risk. When family and friends are repeatedly raising concerns, it’s time to have a real conversation.

Conversations about driving retirement work best when framed around safety, not age. These talks should be respectful, collaborative, and focused on solutions rather than limitations.

Use specific examples instead of broad accusations. Involve your loved one in creating a plan so they feel respected, not sidelined. Choose a calm moment, not right after an accident or argument, to talk about the risks and next steps.

Establishing Transportation Alternatives

Giving up driving doesn’t have to mean giving up independence. With today’s options, older adults can stay mobile, social, and engaged in their communities without sitting behind the wheel.

• Public transit and senior shuttle services — often reduced or free.
• Ridesharing apps — Uber or Lyft accounts can be set up for older adults.
• Volunteer driver programs — many churches and nonprofits organize these.
• Delivery services — groceries and prescriptions delivered to the door.
• Family ride coordination — for medical visits or social outings.

AAA research shows the average cost of owning a vehicle in the U.S. is $12,297, or about $1,024.71 per month. Experts suggest that redirecting those funds into rideshares or delivery services can often reduce stress and save money.

Adjusting Insurance and Finances

When driving decreases or stops, it’s also time to revisit insurance. Maintaining full coverage on a rarely used car is expensive and unnecessary. Contact insurance agents to explore the available choices for infrequent drivers, reduced-mileage discounts, or vehicle storage protection. 

In Ireland, its4women provides thorough comparison resources for examining car and even home insurance rates and policy options during significant life changes, assisting families in finding suitable coverage that reflects altered situations.

Many companies offer low-mileage discounts or “storage-only” coverage. Savings from premiums, fuel, and maintenance can go toward safe transportation options or long-term care support.

When Driving Decline Signals a Need for Care

Struggling with driving is often just one sign that more help may be needed at home. If you or a loved one can no longer drive safely, it may also mean that managing medications, cooking meals, or maintaining the household has become more difficult. At that stage, support from in-home caregivers or a move to assisted living can provide safety and peace of mind.

If you have a Long-Term Care Insurance policy, this may be the right time to activate benefits. Policies typically cover in-home care, assisted living, memory care, or nursing home services when help is needed with activities of daily living — such as bathing, eating, personal hygiene, dressing, or mobility — or because of cognitive decline. Accessing benefits early can help preserve independence while ensuring care needs are met.

LTC News partners with Amada Senior Care to provide free claim support with no cost or obligation — File a Long-Term Care Insurance Claim.

Without long-term care coverage, the cost of extended care can be significant. Health insurance and Medicare only pay for short-term skilled care, such as rehabilitation after a hospital stay, not ongoing custodial support. That leaves your loved one responsible for paying the bulk of long-term care costs out of pocket.

The LTC News Cost of Care Calculator shows just how high these expenses can be, whether you’re hiring caregivers at home or considering assisted living.

Your loved one deserves to be safe, which often means taking their car keys away and getting in-home care or assisted living. Don't delay having the conversation.