Actor Rob Lowe Says Don't Underestimate the Stress of Being a Caregiver

Many people grew up watching Rob Lowe over the years. First as a teen idol and member of the Brat Pack. He played leading roles in movies like The Outsiders (1983), The Hotel New Hampshire (1984), Oxford Blues (1984), St. Elmo's Fire (1985), About Last Night (1986), and Square Dance (1987). 

TV put him in the living rooms of many Americans playing the role of Sam Seaborn on the NBC political drama The West Wing (1999–2003). Since then, he has had several roles on both big and small screens, including his current role starring as Owen Strand in 9-1-1: LONE STAR on FOX. 

However, the biggest challenge he has faced is perhaps the most personal and challenging. This is the role of his mother's caregiver.

Several years ago, Lowe wrote in an opinion article in USA TODAY about caregiving. He notes that 40 million Americans provide long-term health care services for a family member. He says that the mental, physical and emotional stress they face is overwhelming.

Lowe says he was his sick mother’s caregiver, and we should not underestimate the stress caregivers face.

“They are doing truly selfless work by serving as unpaid family caregivers for a loved one. About 25 percent of those caregivers are millennials, who often feel forced to choose between their careers and caring for their aging parents and grandparents,” Lowe writes.

Long-Term Care - Big Challenge for American Families

Long-term health care has become a significant challenge for the American family. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reports that once you reach the age of 65, your chances of needing some type of long-term health care service before you die is about 50/50. No matter what the statistic might suggest, it will become a family crisis if it happens to you or a loved one, especially if no plan was put in place beforehand. 

About half of us will need substantial help with activities of daily living or supervision due to cognitive impairment. This requires the help of caregivers. Often, the role of a caregiver either falls on the family to provide the care or drains income and savings to pay for professional caregivers. Often both.

Health Insurance and Medicare Won't Pay for Most Long-Term Care

Health insurance, and once a person becomes age 65, Medicare and any Medicare supplement a person may have in place, only pays for a limited amount of skilled care services. Most long-term care services are custodial in nature. This means help with everyday living activities of supervision due to memory loss. This type of care is not covered by these plans. 

Medicaid will pay for this care but only if you have little or no income and assets. The only type of insurance that will pay for long-term care beyond the limited amount of skilled care is Long-Term Care Insurance. 

Unfortunately, many people don't think about the problem of aging and declining health until it is too late to obtain insurance coverage.

"When my brothers and I stepped up to serve as my mother's caregivers, we did everything we could to support her, from hospitals to hospice care. This often meant trying to figure out and manage her medical paperwork, medication schedules, and in-house help, and continually redefining an ever-changing "new normal" for all of us. I often felt overwhelmed, and that was even with all the support I had from my brothers and colleagues," Lowe said.

Read the full article in USA TODAY.

On the Today Show, they discussed Rob Lowe and caregiving. The Today show hosts shared their own personal experiences as caregivers, just like many Americans must do when no advance plan exists to help. 

Sheinelle Jones said she was surprised that a quarter of the 40 million caregivers are Millennials who must sacrifice a lot with careers to be a caregiver.

Family Caregivers are Not the Best Solution

You might think your children can be depended on to provide your future care. You might think you will never need care. The facts show none of us are immune to the impact of longevity. 

People require long-term health care due to illness, accidents, or the impact of aging. Your spouse may not be around when you need care or be physically unable to provide the care. They might even require care when you do. Your children have careers, responsibilities, and their own families to tend to. It is stressful and time-consuming to be a caregiver. 

The other thing you forget is they get older as you do. Being a caregiver is much more challenging when you're older because of the job's physical demands. Plus, it is difficult for everyone when you add the emotional consequences of caring for a parent. 

There is an easy and affordable solution: Long-Term Care Insurance. In an article Lowe wrote for CNN, he said the new year is a good time to have the conversation about the financial costs and burdens of aging.

"So, as you think about the new year and you get together with your family, let's have "the talk" -- the adult version of the birds and the bees -- a discussion of how we want to care for our parents and how we ourselves, in the prime of our lives, want to age, and how to accomplish those goals with long-term care planning," he said.

Lowe explained that long-term care is not end-of-life care. 

"Millions of older adults rely on it for help with day-to-day activities -- everything from getting dressed in the morning to cleaning the house to running the most basic errands. The majority of that care occurs in the home, and who doesn't want to say in their home?" he writes.

You don't have to wait to have the talk. The best time is now.

For Many American Families, LTC Insurance is the Solution

Long-Term Care Insurance pays for your choice of quality care in the setting you and your family prefer. This includes care in your own home, adult day care, assisted living, memory care as well as the traditional nursing home. 

The challenges you face with future long-term care are difficult. Not only is family caregiving hard, but paid professional care drains assets and adversely impacts your income and lifestyle. Remember, your spouse might live well beyond you, and assets need not be drained and should be protected.

In 2021 alone, the major insurance companies paid over $12.3 Billion in benefits from Long-Term Care Insurance policies. These benefits protect savings and reduce the stress and burden otherwise placed on family members.

Long-Term Care Insurance is affordable for most Americans, especially when you plan before retiring. When you own a Long-Term Care Insurance policy, you will safeguard your retirement accounts and reduce the stress and burden otherwise placed on those you love. Most people obtain Long-Term Care Insurance in their 50s, so it is time to start your online research now.

Start Planning Before You Retire

Begin your research by finding the current and future cost of long-term care services in your area. The LTC NEWS Cost of Care Calculator will show you the costs of all care services where you live. Plus, you will see state-specific information about tax benefits and available products in your state - Cost of Care Calculator - Choose Your State | LTC News.

There are other resources available on LTC NEWS to help plan for your future long-term care and help find resources for an older family member who may need care and assistance now.

Planning for long-term health care is about family. The consequences of aging and declining health affect everyone in the family. You can help avoid a family crisis by planning, so your loved ones have the time to be family instead of caregivers.