UPDATED September 21, 2019
More people today are aware of the issues of aging, dementia and the impact it has on family and finances. Many more Americans have awareness of Long-Term Care Insurance but they have yet to start their research and plan.
Without an advance plan, which includes affordable Long-Term Care Insurance, your family may end up in "crisis management". This causes stress on them, at the least, and could cause and a major rift between family members, not to mention the high cost of long-term care services. Dementia care is even more expensive and adversely impacts income and lifestyle.
Many American families are finding peace-of-mind by putting into place Long-Term Care Insurance. You can research the many companies which offer this coverage by clicking here.
The feud that's split Glen Campbell's loved ones amid his decline from Alzheimer's disease strikes a chord with other U.S. families as dementia diagnoses fuel similar money spats and jealousies, leaving lasting wounds, experts say.
Last week, two of the Rhinestone Cowboy's eight children from a previous marriage took legal action against his fourth wife, Kim Campbell. They assert she has "secluded" the singer and prevented them from "participating" in the 78-year-old's medical care.
A rift also arose inside the family of radio legend Casey Kasem. Last year, his children fought his wife and their daughter to take control of Kasem's medical decisions while he was in the throes of dementia, before his June death.
"What you are seeing in the news about Casey Kasem and, now, Glen Campbell is a problem with many families."
"Nothing brings out the greed and conflict more than aging parents in need of care."
"In the present deflated economy, there are more and more clashes over parents' finances. If these siblings do not agree on what is necessary, things get very ugly."
Sometimes, a caregiver who is a family member is accused of taking advantage of mom or dad. "Some are told they lived in the house for free and shouldn't have any of the estate."
"Others are taken to court."
Diane Carbo, nurse who works with the elderly, who founded Caregiver Relief.
These emotional gaps can last a lifetime, experts say.
Mary Dye, whose mother struggled for a decade with Alzheimer's and died in 2000, said she and her sister still cannot talk about their mother's care due to arguments over finances and medical decisions.
"It's a taboo subject."
"My sister and I love each other and still participate in each other's lives … but it changed our relationship for a lifetime."Mary Dye, who founded CareZips
At one point, the sisters didn't speak for three months.
"Maybe I was too dictatorial, looking for frugality, trying to keep expenses at the lower end."
"My sister was offended by that. She said the money is there for [my mother], not to be saved for our inheritance."
Dye, who founded CareZips, an adult briefs company, said family feuds are "incredibly common," particularly among those with dementia.
More than 5 million Americans suffer from dementia, the umbrella term for several diseases, including Alzheimer's. The majority of those diagnosed are over the age of 65, but an estimated 200,000 are younger, according to the Alzheimer's Association.
The average patient will live for six to eight years, but many live for 20 years. Costs can be astronomical and rise over time as the patient needs more care. In 2012, the average annual cost for a private room in a nursing home was $92,977 a year.
"We encounter a lot of families in turmoil."
"With a disease like Alzheimer's, the strain of grieving happens along the way and the strain of caregiving and financial decisions exacerbate it."Ruth Drew, director of family and information services for the Alzheimer's Association.
"Everybody's heart's in the right place, but they really disagree about what right is."
Dysfunction happens equally in biological as well as blended families like the Campbells and Kasem's.
"We see it all across the spectrum,"
"It's usually about the money...,"
"When it's not about money directly, it's about power and control. I've seen 60-year-olds argue over who loves mom the most."David N. Pessin, a wealth preservation attorney from Towson, Maryland, who works in elderly law.
Children may fight spouses, feeling entitlement, even when there is a prenuptial agreement in place.
"There's always that one kid who feels unbridled resentment."
"And the ones who are not participating in the care, think he or she is stealing all mom's money."
David N. Pessin
Experts say good planning while the parent is still of sound mind can minimize the damage.
Ellen Goodman, a co-founder of The Conversation Project, leads a national effort to get families to "sit down at the kitchen table" and talk about their end-of-life wishes, while parents are still healthy.
"Glen Campbell is among [those] who can't speak for themselves in the end."
"It's an emotional story."
"Have the conversation as early as you can."
"You give a gift to your own children and tell them what you want when the times comes."Ellen Goodman, co-founder of The Conversation Project
"Imagine if Glen Campbell's family had been able to sit down with their amazing father — early on — before there was a crisis."
About the Author
An LTC News author focusing on long-term care and aging.
Contributor since August 21st, 2017
Make the process of getting older easier on those you love. An affordable Long-Term Care policy is an essential part of enjoying your future retirement without placing huge burdens on family. Start your research now.
The best time to start planning is before your retirement, ideally in your 40s or 50s when you can enjoy low premiums and the most options.
Start your research by going to the LTC NEWS cost of care calculator. Find your state and see the current and future cost of long-term health care. Plus, you will see additional information including state-specific tax incentives and more. Click here to find your state.
You should seek help from a qualified and experienced Long-Term Care Insurance specialist. They should represent multiple insurance companies, understand how the Long-Term Care Partnership Program works, and have extensive claims experience. A qualified specialist will know how to design a very affordable plan which matches your age, health, finances, and goals. Find a qualified specialist by clicking here.
Affordable Long-Term Care Insurance provides you with the tax-free resources to pay for quality care without draining savings and adversely impacting your income and lifestyle. However, long-term care is all about family. It allows your family the time to be family as you get older and not having the deal with the role of caregiver.