B. Smith’s Alzheimer’s Journey and Legacy: A Story of Love, Controversy, and Courage
Barbara “B.” Smith, the beloved model, restaurateur, and lifestyle entrepreneur, died peacefully at her Long Island home in February 2020 while receiving hospice care. She was 70.
Her death marked the end of a very public and deeply personal battle with Alzheimer’s disease—one that captivated and divided the nation due to the unconventional way her care was managed. Smith was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s in 2013. Her husband, Dan Gasby, made headlines when he revealed that he was in a relationship with another woman—Alex Lerner—who was also helping to care for his wife.
The relationship, which he disclosed on Facebook in 2018, sparked both support and widespread criticism. Many questioned the ethics of such an arrangement while Smith was still alive and legally married. Gasby defended his decision in multiple media appearances, including the Today Show, explaining that caregiving had taken a personal toll and that the blended family dynamic allowed them to manage B. Smith’s condition with compassion and support. He described the emotional stages he went through after her diagnosis—denial, anger, frustration, and finally, grief.
“You don't believe it. There's total denial,” he told Today’s Al Roker. “And then you curse God and say, ‘Why? She doesn’t deserve this.’ She is the sweetest human being, bar none.”
Despite the controversies, Smith’s own voice remained powerful and determined. In a 2015 People magazine interview, she spoke about confronting her diagnosis with courage.
“I had tears in my eyes, but at that same time, I said, ‘I’m not gonna give to it. I’m gonna fight. I am going to fight.’” — B. Smith
Even as Alzheimer’s slowly robbed her of her memories, Smith used her platform to advocate for awareness and research. She partnered with the Brain Health Registry to encourage more participation—especially from minorities—in clinical studies on brain disorders.
“I know that I’ve got a problem. It doesn’t make me happy. Sometimes it makes me teary, but because I have great support … I’m doing fine. I’m doing really good.” — B. Smith on the Today Show
Her resilience was tested repeatedly. In one incident, Smith was missing for more than 17 hours after becoming disoriented and getting off at the wrong train stop while traveling from New York City to Sag Harbor.
“I wanted to be free,” Smith later said. Gasby called the experience terrifying. “I thought I lost her,” he said. “It was like living a nightmare.”
Smith was not only a business pioneer but a cultural icon. In 1976, she became one of the first Black women to appear on the cover of Mademoiselle magazine. She later hosted the syndicated television show B. Smith with Style, opened restaurants, and launched a successful home goods line.
Through it all, she remained committed to using her voice to help others navigate the challenges of brain disease.
“I’m going to wash those tears and just continue to go back and be a better person even than I’ve been in the past.” — B. Smith
Her story underscores the complexities of long-term care, love, and aging. For many families, Alzheimer’s is more than a diagnosis—it’s a daily struggle to hold on to dignity, connection, and meaning.
“The first thing I think about is trying to create the best possible moments we can have,” Gasby once said. “I am lucky. I have a best friend.”
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