Paying a Delayed "Debt of Gratitude"

As we get older, we think about the many people who were a positive influence on your life. Expressing a debt of gratitude is meaningful to them and for you. The time to make an effort is now.

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Paying a Delayed "Debt of Gratitude"
8 Min Read June 14th, 2020 Updated:May 14th, 2023

Do you have a person in your life who you feel you owe a "debt of gratitude"? Is there a person you always meant to thank for something, but never took the time or had the chance to? I have several people like that in my life. 

My family members and friends know my love for them, or at least I hope they do. I've noticed that as my friends and family and I grow older, we vocally express love to each other more often. "I love you," closes phone conversations. In personal contact, the spoken expression of love is accompanied now with a tight hug. So, to many, I've told them directly what they mean to me, while others I think I've shown my caring and appreciation for them in various ways. 

Then there is that remaining category of people who impacted your life. Those who have NO IDEA what they may have done for you and how much you appreciate it. How do you show them your appreciation if you would like to, assuming it is even still possible to?

We get caught up and swept away in the current of our own lives. People and the gratitude you feel you owe them gets left behind as your own, busy "river-of-life" rolls on. You do not forget what they did, and your appreciation of what they did is always there, but your expression of gratitude was never shared with them. 

Losing Track … Is It Too Late?

People lose track of each other, the current of your river speeds up, and priorities in your life shift. You seem to have less time. People and events that were once important in your life may become less important with time. You prioritize, and sadly, good intent becomes failed action. The gratitude you once felt you owed them may fade into the shadowed perimeter of your life. It's there, but its power in moving you to action is diminished.

With those thoughts in mind, I pose this question to you: In your life, how long is a "debt of gratitude" held before the need for you to express it is abandoned? 

I've found that as I've grown older, I have become more appreciative of many events and people in my life. Sadly, in my youth and with a lack of learning from life's lessons and maturity, I took what they did and the sacrifices they made for me for granted. 

Maybe it's partially because I'm retired now and have more "free time" to think about my life and everything and everyone who has brought me to this point of my self-awareness today. 

Our Mind’s Focus Changes Over Time

In the past, my thinking and efforts were all about work and paying bills, raising children, schooling and schedules, meeting deadlines, and all other things that became "external" influences to shaping me. But now, 

I've turned more to thinking and processing the "internal" influences that I seemed to have little time for before. Those are the events and people who guided me and opened doors of opportunity for me that I chose either to have walked through or closed. 

They helped to shape me morally and emotionally to be the "me" I am today. I've found that reflecting on "unpaid debts of gratitude" is both healthy and rewarding. The best people and events of my life and yours should never be forgotten. They should be cherished by us, shared with our loved ones as a part of our life histories, and, most important, become a "debt of gratitude" from the past that we seek to pay in the present.

Tech Will Help You Locate Key People from Your Past

Technology today has made it much easier to locate and reach out to people with a phone call or an email. I know first-hand the rush of smiles and joy that a simple gesture of personal contact makes. 

I received a surprise phone call recently from a student I taught in high school almost forty years ago. I remembered him clearly. I had even heard where he had settled and was living before we spoke. We laughed and talked about memories from days long ago gone by. 

We reminisced for thirty minutes, talked about what had happened in our lives over the intervening years, and exchanged invitations for visits, though he and his family live almost a thousand miles away. 

I thanked him for contacting me and told him how much I appreciated his kind gesture of friendship. Before ending the call, I asked him if there was some special reason for him reaching out to me when he did. He said, "You know Mr. "B", we had some great times together in high school. I have never forgotten the lessons I learned and the way you helped me as a teacher, both academically and as a friend. Over the years, I've thought a hundred times about calling you to say, "Thanks," and to see how you were doing. I finally decided today, to stop thinking about it, and do it." 

Debt of Gratitude is Always Meaningful

I can't tell you how much that call meant to me. That call proves the point of all I've shared with you here. YOU and your actions of simple kindness and caring, impact people, and the people you impact will never forget you. If possible, take the time and make an effort to let those people know what them being in your lives has always meant to you. Doing that is free. The resulting memory you will create for both of you is priceless. 

No matter how old you are, no matter how long ago a "debt of gratitude" was created, it can be resurrected as someone's shining moment and memory, TODAY.

With that in mind, I want to pay a debt of gratitude to a woman whose gestures of kindness and professionalism, shaped my life and set me off on a career that lasted forty-two years of my life. 

Thanking Mrs. Evelyn Engelking

My high school guidance counselor, Mrs. Evelyn Engelking, was instrumental in securing a college scholarship for me to become a teacher and, later, a school administrator at both the PreK-Grade 8 and grade 9-12 levels. 

EMrs Evelyn Engelking

She and many of the other teachers I had as a student, or later worked with professionally, were and are some of the finest people I've ever had the privilege and good fortune to know in my life. 

Though I've had the opportunity to express my gratitude to many of them through the years, it was a failure of mine not to take the time over the last five decades to find Mrs. Engelking and thank her personally for what she did for me, and to let her know the huge difference she made in my life. 

I want to let her know that though I may be only one of the hundreds of students she guided as a school counselor, I'm one who will never forget her. 

I don't have any idea where Mrs. Engelking is today. If she's alive, I hope this reaches her in some way. If it does, it's doubtful she will have any memory of me. Her memory of me does not matter. What does matter is who she was to me, what she did for me, and that she and my memory of her is shared with everyone who reads this. That gives her the recognition she deserves. 

People need to be reminded that educators like her are in every school across our nation and that they are truly unsung heroes who forever change the students' future lives they teach and guide. 

I don't want Mrs. Engelking to be forgotten. Hopefully, my effort here to pay her a "debt of gratitude" is worthy of what I have long felt I will forever owe her.

Who are the Special People of Your Lifetime?

You all have your own "Evelyn Engelking" in your life. If you are blessed, you have many of them. Your children and your grandchildren have theirs' too. I just opened the door to yours from the depths of your memory. Opening that door makes you smile and feel good about your life, and those special people who touched it to make a lifelong memory. 

I hope that you take the time to reach out to express your "debts of gratitude" before it's too late. Don't wait too late for you and these special people to experience how meaningful and rewarding that contact will be. 

Take the time. Make an effort. Enjoy the treasure of the personal reward waiting for you to give and share. Now is the time, Today!

Giving Kindness Takes Many Forms

In its own and thoughtful way, providing Long Term Care Insurance is an act of kindness and love you extend to your family members. It's a thoughtful "Debt of Gratitude" you provide for all they have done for you. 

LTC insurance will benefit both you and them. It will provide expenses coverage security for you to provide for unforeseen long-term health care issues you may experience.

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About the Author

Gene Beltz is a retired, professional educator. Having spent 12 years teaching high school Language Arts, 30 years serving as a Grade School Principal, and State and Federal Programs Director. He has a great interest in current events, politics, family, and travel. "I see learning and sharing as life-long experiences to embrace and grow from. I have friends across the spectrum of issues that I respect, admire, and often discuss differing sides of issues with. Above all, I love family and cherish my wife, children, and grandchildren. I hope my comments create smiles, thought, and sometimes even stir people to action. I think a well-informed public makes our nation wiser, safer, and stronger. I love our country, rejoice in her greatness, and am proud of her efforts to constantly move forward to be better. There is much more about me and my life you may sense as you read my stories and comments I share here with you. I hope you find them enjoyable!"

LTC News Contributor Gene Beltz

Gene Beltz

Contributor since January 23rd, 2018

Editor's Note

The costs and burdens of aging can have significant implications for an individual's financial stability, assets, lifestyle, and the legacy they leave behind. As people grow older, they often face the risk of long-term health care expenses due to chronic health conditions, cognitive decline, or mobility issues. These costs can quickly erode savings and assets that have been accumulated over a lifetime, potentially leaving individuals and their families in financial distress.

Moreover, the financial strain of long-term care can negatively impact the lifestyle that individuals and their loved ones have grown accustomed to, forcing them to make difficult choices and compromises in order to meet mounting care expenses. This can lead to increased stress and anxiety for all parties involved as they struggle to find the means to provide adequate care and maintain their desired standard of living.

Additionally, the burden of providing care often falls on family members, who may need to take on significant caregiving responsibilities, further contributing to emotional and financial stress. These challenges can strain family dynamics and impede the ability to preserve and pass on a meaningful legacy to future generations.

Long-Term Care Insurance offers a viable solution to these challenges by providing guaranteed tax-free benefits that can be utilized to pay for a range of care options, from in-home assistance to assisted living or nursing home care. This type of insurance coverage allows individuals to choose the setting and quality of care that best suits their needs while preserving their assets and safeguarding their financial future.

Adding Long-Term Care Insurance to your retirement planning can alleviate the financial pressure on families, enabling them to focus on providing emotional support and maintaining their own well-being. 

Ultimately, Long-Term Care Insurance serves as a valuable tool for protecting assets, ensuring access to quality care, and reducing the burden on family members, thereby preserving the legacy that individuals have worked so hard to create.

It is your good health today that gives you the ability to think about Long-Term Care Insurance because these policies are medically underwritten. The time to obtain coverage is in your 40s or 50s, but those in reasonably good health may be able to get coverage at older ages. Remember that premiums are based partly on age, health, and family history.

Specialists Help You Save Money and Time

Most financial advisors and general insurance agents lack the experience and skills to help with long-term care planning. Long-Term Care Insurance specialists typically work with all the top insurance companies and have the required training and experience to provide you with accurate quotes along with professional recommendations. 

Premiums and underwriting criteria can differ significantly among insurance companies, making it crucial to consult top specialists who assist hundreds of clients annually with Long-Term Care Insurance. Their expertise and guidance can be invaluable in navigating the intricacies of this market. 

 Keep in mind that insurance companies are required to file their products and pricing with each state's insurance department, ensuring that no individual agent, agency, or advisor can offer exclusive deals or promotions.

 

By seeking the counsel of experienced professionals in the field, you can better understand your options and make well-informed decisions regarding Long-Term Care Insurance, ultimately securing the coverage that best aligns with your needs and goals.

Get Accurate Answers to the Most Asked Questions

Here are several frequently asked questions that you should review as part of your research:

LTC NEWS Provides Essential Resources for In-Depth Research

There is no other place on the internet where you will see comprehensive and accurate information on long-term health care, aging, caregiving, health, retirement planning, and Long-Term Care Insurance.

These resources are vital to review:

Seeking Assistance for Your Aging Parents?

It might be too late for your older parents to purchase Long-Term Care Insurance. A qualified Long-Term Care Insurance specialist will tell you, depending on their age and health, if options are available. 

Otherwise, your parents deserve quality care, and adult children and their spouses will not have the skills or the time to provide that care. Finding quality care can be difficult.

If your loved one is lucky enough to own a Long-Term Care Insurance policy, be sure they use it. Sometimes families wait, thinking they can save the benefits for a rainy day. Waiting on using available Long-Term Care Insurance benefits is not a wise idea. 

Get help finding quality caregivers or long-term care facilities and get recommendations for a proper care plan, whether a person has a policy. 

Filing a Long-Term Care Insurance Claim

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